Well, today I talked to some people that have lost people that they love a lot in their lives. It hurt me to hear that because I know that losing the people that mean the most to me would be devastating. I talked with this lady who had an amazing love story. She had met her husband in Seattle during WWII and the rest was history. He died and she is left with only memories. I won't go into too much detail, that's her story, but i feel like life shouldn't be taken for granted. We need to value each day that we have with the people that we love.
I guess it was a bit awkward for me to see the people that might have known my mother. I use to feel a bitter anger against my real mother because I didn't get why someone didn't love me enough and would just throw me out on the street, hoping that I would get rescued. I guess, in a way, i have just put away those feelings. I wish I could say that I have come to terms with the feelings and some of the anger. It isn't a burning anger, it's just the bitterness that I feel from time to time. I mean, a few years ago, I got the note that was pinned onto me when I was abandoned. It was on a red piece of paper. Luck? Who knows, but I know that I am lucky to be in the place I am, being able to take photos, and knowing the people that I know.
I'm hoping one day that I may be able to talk with her and ask the question that I have been wondering for 16 years. "Why?" It's just one word, but it's like the most common question with me, and with 6 year olds. :)
I'm lucky to have the mom that I have right now, and sometimes life will take you in different directions. I' glad that the feelings of sadness that I have don't change me too much. I try to be a positive person. I made a goal to myself, to make at least 3 people smile everyday. I think if I can make other people happy, that I will find true happiness. and isn't that what everyone wants?
I guess that's my deep post for the week. :)
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